One night Elder Maynard Fergeron left his house to fix an ailing toilet at First Presbyterian Church of Futility Pass never to return again. Rumors sailed about what could have happened to the popular octogenarian. In one story Maynard wandered the fields of Futility because dementia had confused him. In another Maynard, much like Elijah ascended to God in a fiery chariot. Finally, there was the hypothesis that he had merely moved on to another town. Over the years the church continued to have what appeared to be paranormal activity. Doors opening alone and candles lit in the kitchen. Often when young Pastor Dan would attempt to change the order of worship he would find nasty messages shoved under his door.
On tuesday the mystery of Maynard was finally solved. A mummified corpse next to an open tool box was discovered in the storage space above the sanctuary. The only access to this hidden room is from a door above the balcony pews. Since no one ever uses the balcony it is understandable that the room had become forgotten. Maynard’s internment will be Thursday at 11 am.