Peeps Burning Costs Local Church

Rev. Melvin Burnbacher is finding that there is a cost to following Jesus Christ. During this Lenten season Rev. Burnbacher was into his 4th sermon in his Lenten series “Why The Secular World Misses the Point About Jesus!” This particular Sunday he had asked the membership of First Presbyterian Church of the Blood to bring packages of the ubiquitous Easter Peeps to Sunday worship.

As an object lesson for his sermon, “Peeps, the Devils Confection!” Rev. Burnbacher lit a match and began a controlled fire in the middle of the sanctuary. In it he threw five peeps and Invited the congregation to come forward to rid themselves of “Satan’s confections!”

It is estimated that 1,000 of the 1,500 in attendance brought packages of Peeps that morning. Before the male elders controlling the fire could stop the procedure thousands of melted peeps had oozed onto the sanctuary’s carpet.

“It appears that the damage to the sanctuary is going to cut into our budget this year” Elder Robert Singer relates.

Mainly hurt will be First’s Annual “Countdown to PC (USA)’s Demise.” This year’s celebration will be a bit more Spartan.

Robert admits that “we will have to cut down on the decorations and the money that will go into tri-color advertising. Fortunately, we will still be able to shoot off fireworks to celebrate when we have counted down all the reasons for repentance in the PC (USA).”

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3 Responses to “Peeps Burning Costs Local Church”

  1. specialgathering Says:

    Burning peeps? Though others would call this a great sacrilege, I agree with the Rev. Peeps could be the main reason that Christ’s resurrection has been forgotten during this season. Hurrah for Rev. Burnbacher. He is my hero. Sorry about the destruction.

  2. htnikkijamesa4 Says:

    Top class webpage by Kirstin Dashne

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