12 Hospitalized After Coffee Hour

First Presbyterian Church of Framington’s pastor Michael Leech is making quite a few more emergency hospital visits than normal. This was because the after coffee hour last Sunday 12 members were rushed to the hospital for apparent food poisoning. The culprit was a salmon dip that was placed as a snack after church which had expired in 2008.

“We are so sorry for the bad dip and the pain that it may have caused our membership.” Rev. Leech said in a press conference on Thursday. “Apparently one of our kitchen people did not look at the expiration date on the dip before putting it out for the congregation.”

An investigation of First Church’s refrigerator revealed that about 90% of the items in that refrigerator were well past their due date. 79 year old Irma Tonson is in charge of the kitchen and agreed to only throw away a couple of these items when they were revealed to her.

“All people want to do is waste perfectly good food,” Irma retorted. “Those people will be fine. A little mold is good for you.”

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