Board of Pensions Scandal

A new study by the Presbytery has found that the Board of Pensions is not only giving incentives for older ministers to stay in ministry well past retirement age, but has encouraged congregations to lie about their deaths. It is believed that this is another attempt by the Board at cost savings.

“I couldn’t believe the call I got from the board of pensions after Rev. Stevenson’s funeral.” Clerk of Sessions Sally Peabody contends. “They basically said that they would give the church a monthly check if we would keep his death secret.”

The Board of Pensions had basically no comment for our reporters but did say “We don’t have to tell you anything!”

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