Presbytery to Make Cuts

With the unprecedented economic downturn The Presbytery of Silly Walks in the Pines had decided that it would be fiduciary irresponsibility for us to keep our budget the same while the rest of our churches and ministers struggle. So, here are a list of cuts and changes to be acted upon immediately:

1. The February Presbytery meeting will not have Gladys Knight leading worship.
2. We have decided to sell the Presbytery’s collection of religious related hummel dolls.
3. A salary freeze on all people employed in our “Carni Worker Outreach Program”
4. A $1.00 fee on every public and private use of the word missional.
5. Moving money from elder care services to young adult ministries.
6. Immediately closing of our Christian Tract Museum.

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3 Responses to “Presbytery to Make Cuts”

  1. Isabelle Davis Says:

    Gosh, I’d have kept Gladys Knight

  2. Kathy Randall Says:

    Aw, man! I love the Christian Tract Museum! Who am I going to will my complete Chick Tract collection to now?

  3. Martha Carlson Says:

    Gosh! We could fund the GA by taxing “missional,” now that we’re done fining people who said “transformation” when they meant “revitalization.” What an inspiring idea!

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