First Presbyterian Church of WalMart Opens

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With hot dogs and cotton candy in the parking lot and a NASCAR memorabilia give away you would think that you were in the parking lot of a rural WalMart. Well, you are half right because tomorrow is the grand opening of First Presbyterian Church of WalMart.

As the souped up funny cars lined up at the sanctuary door NCD Pastor Jeremy Studman smiles.

“It was only a matter of time before this type of church happened. NCDs in the Presbyterian Church have been getting money from the Waltons for years. It only make sense that we pay them back and honor them somehow. Since most greeters at church are elderly anyway we decided to hire the ones who working next door,” says Rev. Studman as he points to a couple of blue vested men in the foyer.

Tomorrows activities will include safety ID’s for children, songs from the Children Miracle Network’s choir and a blessing of the forklifts.

Welcome to the Presbytery and we hope your brand flourishes.

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