Knitting Ban Reprisal for Outlawing Tweets

Many is the snark that is spread across the twitter universe during a Presbytery meeting. Young people (people under the age of 50) have become ubiquitously associated in the Presbytery of Silly Walks in the Pines with punching 140 characters into their phones or laptops during the meetings. Well, those days ended at the last Presbytery meeting when Sister Frances Wolverton successfully forwarded a motion to have tweets outlawed during these open meetings.

“We know they are talking about us in a derogatory way. I would be able to prove it if I knew or cared how to twit like the young people,” Frances claims.

In a stunning turn of events Generally Executive Presbyter Georgia Smith was able to avoid total chaos by making the motion that knitting not be allowed during meetings as well. Everyone knows that Sister Wolverton finishes many of her prize winning shawls during Presbytery meetings.

“I just think that it is disrespectful of those who are doing business when someone is knitting away in a corner,” Georgia countered.

“This is going to be chaotic. What about cross-stitching?” Francis asked in dismay.