Church Decides For Sanctimony

First Presbyterian Church of Ida has decided that it will celebrate a week of open sanctimony and correction toward others.

“We believe that sanctimony has gotten a bad rap over the years. If you really do notice that someone has done something wrong it is the obligation of the smarter person to correct the offending party. If it can be a public shaming that is even better. We think that this is what will make the world a better place,” contends pastor H.B. Highstreet III.

“I am a third generation Presbyterian minister, so it is my obligation to point out when others are not being Presbyterian enough. Plus, there are so many other things on which we can perfect the public. Spelling, correct grammar, theology, biblical pronunciations….” Highstreet continued.

It was decided by the session at First that this sanctimony and corrections would be used in social networking, casual relationships and visitors to their church on Sunday.

“We really do have an obligation to discipline others. I believe that the scripture calls it iron sharpening iron. Pastor Highstreet has modeled correction and sanctimony his entire ministry here at First. Plus, we are tired of biting our tongues every time someone says something that we know is clearly wrong,” elder Sally Crumb contests.