Pastor Finds Corpse While Cleaning Storage Room


Rev. Gerald Hoeken sure had a surprise when he started cleaning the storage room of First Presbyterian Church of Union City. After a fight with his session Gerald looked for a way to take out his frustration. He found it in the Sunday School room turned into storage after the last child of a member had left the church. Three pickup loads later Gerald felt his anger abating.

“There was enough glitter stored up for an entire gay pride parade.” He said with a chuckle. That is when he made the ominous discovery.

“It was stuffed in one of the five plastic Christmas tree boxes. The one that said in black marker ‘Broken lights do not use, DO NOT THROW AWAY!'” Rev. Hoeken told us in still visible shock.

When Gerald opened the box there lay a perfectly mummified corpse of a man in a trench coat. Union City Police were called to the scene and have started an ongoing case.

Officer Chris Yardley’s official statement on this was, “The corpse has obviously been in the box for quite a few years, even decades. Since it was in the Sunday School room, a room the church no longer needed, they missed the smell. One break in identifying the body has happened, there was a pocket watch that was inscribed “Congrats Hoffa!”

If you have any information about this strange discovery please contact the the Presbytery immediately.


2 Responses to “Pastor Finds Corpse While Cleaning Storage Room”

  1. phtoclp Says:

    Having cleaned out the attic of our Church, this could be possible. this is LOL

  2. pastorofdisaster Says:

    I hope you do not have the same experience.

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