Recall on Presbytery’s Jesus Fans

church-lady
New Pastor Rev. Eudora Castendenos smiles with her Jesus Fan

The Presbytery of Silly Walks in the Pines has filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau and is recalling all the Jesus fans that they gave out at the January Presbytery meeting.

Generally Executive Presbyter Georgia Smith contents that this is merely a preventative measure and that “they didn’t really cool me down the 10 degrees that was promised by Oriental Trading Company’s advertisement.”

The problem with the defective fans was revealed when a few children from First Presbyterian Church of Safe Haven began re-enacting the Moses and Pharaoh story in Sunday School. The fans were being used by the servants to fan Pharaoh when one broke and caused a terrible paper cut on Billy McGee. Parent’s shrieked and recoiled in horror at the obvious danger. Some even pulled their children out of the class the following week because of the safety issue. Once the Safe Haven Gazette reported the story the Presbytery knew that it was time for swift action.

As Sister Frances Wolverton said, “If we have to hermetically seal our children and wrap them in bubble wrap at least worried parents will know their children are safe.”

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